Tuesday, 21 August 2012

"Addicted to love..."

Being a blogger and an author I need to stay in touch with my on-line public at all times. Hubby thinks otherwise. He is convinced I have become addicted to the internet and expected me to actually have a break from it! As if! So, a couple of weeks ago when we went to France, I hid my iPad in my handbag (it's a very large bag) and packed my laptop. I had a dongle too because I was not going to get caught out on this trip, no Sir.
     I have been stuck without internet in France before and in order to get on-line I have had to take Hubby to the nearest McDonald's to use their WiFi as it is the only place in the area that seems to have a signal.
     I knew that Ted's owners (yes, were looking after Ted, the star of Surfing in Stilettos) had internet, so this time I'd be able to sneak on-line while Hubby dozed in the sunshine, oblivious to what I was doing. All would be well.
     France Telecom, however, had other ideas. After five years of waiting, the hamlet was finally being upgraded to broadband and for one full week there would be no internet or phone lines. All the road between the hamlet and the telephone exchange was being dug up, leaving me without connection. Onto plan B. I produced my dongle. The dongle wouldn't connect. It had gone on strike in a show of comraderie with French Telecom. That left only one option - McDonalds and a forty mile trip. Normally, Hubby doesn't mind going too much because he gets to have a McFlurry, but let's face it, a McFlurry doesn't last too long and by the time I have finished attempting to speedily reply to my emails, Hubby is ready to go.
     After much pleading Hubby took me to McDonalds. He was not as we say a 'happy bunny' about it, grumbling that I was on-line all the time in the UK and surely a few days off wouldn't hurt. He was adamant that the internet is bad for my health and mind.
     "It'll make you forget things, you know. It's bad for your brain," he grumbled en route. I ignored him.
     Hubby was finally seated with a large McFlurry in front of him and I set to work. I admit I got carried away somewhat and in trying to schedule tweets, read posts and answer emails I completely lost track of time. By the time I looked up Hubby was standing by the window staring at the children's slide. Maybe he fancied a go on it. No, he was fuming. I recognised the signs. He was standing in that way that indicates huge annoyance. It was time to go. I slammed the computer lid shut, grabbed my handbag, the laptop bag, the computer, the mobile phone and got up to go. I grabbed the tray containing the empty McFlurry pot, some serviettes and a coffee cup (I'd been so long he's even bought a coffee and I hadn't noticed) and threw it quickly in the bin, walking up to Hubby with a cheery "I've finished!"
     We headed out to the hire car, Hubby stomping off crossly. We got to the car where Hubby glared at me.
     "What?" I asked tetchily. I hate it when he stares at me like that. I feel like a child in the Headmaster's office.
     "What have I done now?"
Hubby held his hand out. I looked at him blankly. His lips set into a straight line. I shrugged my shoulders.
     "What do you want? My mind reading skills are below par today."
     "Key!"
     "I don't have the car key. You had it. I have my handbag, the laptop, the mobile and a large plastic bag containing salad from the supermarket that you made me carry in so it didn't get warm in the car."
     "Come on, hand it over. I am not in the mood for your stupid games."
     "I can assure you, I am not playing any games. YOU had the car key. Where did you put it?"
Hubby looked cross and a little confused, certain I was messing him about. You could almost see his brain whirring as he tried to recall when he had last seen the key.
     "I put it on the tray when I went to buy the coffee," he announced eventually.
I gulped. The key must have been hidden under the serviettes. How would I get out of this one? "Okay, it'll still be on the tray then," I replied. "I'll dash back in and get it.
     I left Hubby by the car and raced back inside to explain to the staff that I had rather stupidly thrown away the car key, requesting I look in the bin bag for it. I knew which bin I had thrown the contents of the tray in. There was rapid fire conversation and much shrugging of shoulders. Yes, you've guessed it, one of the staff had cleared away all the bin bags from the bins and they were now in a giant skip.             Which bag contained the car key? There was only one way to find out. I had to trawl through all the bags until I found the key which needed a jolly good wash, as did I.
     It was in bag number four by which point I never wanted to see another McDonald meal as long as I lived.
     Back at the car I found Hubby seated on a wall. He wrinkled his nose and raised his eyebrows in a knowing manner.
     "Told you the internet was bad for you," he announced in a jovial manner.
Don't you hate it when they are right?

*dustbin or bin = garbage can or trash can

26 comments:

  1. Haha! Brilliant Carol! Brt it was still worth it though. Can't be doing without a daily dose of internet! :)

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  2. If I concentrate I can still smell the aroma of stale cheeseburgers but yes, it was worth it. I hate being without internet and my daily fix.

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  3. LOL! I actually know how you felt ;D I was 14 when I went to Paris with my classmates. The guide tought us two words, to be polite - Hello and thank you, in French. So we used those everywhere. Then in McDonalds I went to throw my trash out and a guy went in front of me. He poured his tray out. than he opened the trash can again and looked at me. I thought he was being super nice and opened it for me so I quickly poured my tray out and said "Merci" . The guy started laughing and opened the trash can completely and started going through the trash. Turned out he had his phone on the tray and he had thrown that out too ;D

    I felt so embarrassing and I just rushed out ;D

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    1. No! That is even worse. Imagine the smell coming form your phone every time it rings :(

      Great story.

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  4. Good to see you back with a funny story for us my leetle friend! Husbands eh?! Don't you just love them? Or not, whatever the case might be! Still, at least your hubby makes for funny blog posts ! I'm staying away from my blog for a little while , but I just had to come over to facing50, as I knew it would make me smile , and you didn't let me down you leetle mynx! Hope the book is selling like hot cakes! x

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    1. Selling like 'les gateaux chauds' my leetle friend. Some days you have to stay away from blogs and internet or you might just go a little crazy like me! Take care and keep smiling.

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  5. This is so funny to read (not for you at the time though!). It is very much the sort of thing I would do.....feel furious with myself for being so scatty, and then look back and have a little giggle about it. Men eh? So impatient, and annoyingly too often right, grrrr!!!

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    1. I hate to admit it but Hubby is often right. Not that I would tell him, of course!

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  6. LOL! What are the odds that the trash would be emptied so efficiently? I love reading of your exploits with Hubby. He sounds so much like mine that sometimes I wonder if they were cut from the same cloth. I'm glad you found your key, even though you had to go through a lot of nasty to find it. It is sweet that it took trawling through the trash to put him in a happy mood!

    Sorry I missed your big book party. :( I hope it is doing very well!

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    1. Hi Darlene,

      Two Hubbies - Eeek! That is too much to bear! I have to take my hat off to the staff at that particular McDonalds. The place was spotless.
      Sticky McFlury pots, salad bowls and beer cans - 0h yes, they sell beer in McDonalds in France - were all among the wrappers and ketchup! Still I found the key :)
      Thanks for your good wishes. It's always a pleasure to have you here and read your comments. xx

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  7. It would have probably been easier to buy a new car than to go through the trash--& I prefer the new car smell to the old trash smell any day!!

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    1. It was a hire car fishducky - I think Avis might have been cross if we'd left it behind! I agree about the new car smell though x

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  8. OMGOSH!!! Carol .... what an ordeal! So happy it only took 4 bags to locate the key. On this side of the pond Mr.G. is much the same and he just turned 41 ... imagined in a few years. You adventures are always amazing - you are wonderful for sharing them - and bringing a little smile to all our days.

    Hope you were able to enjoy a nice bubble bath and a glass of vino after all that ... You earned it!!! Hugs, C. (HHL)

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    1. Watch out HHL you have so much to look forward to!

      I had my bubbles thank you but being older and in France they were little Perrier bubbles :)

      Always love to hear from you-you light up my day.

      Fondest hugs to you all.xx

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  9. Oh noooooo - but sooooo hilarious! Funny too that my hubby is cut with the same cloth. So I too know *that* look and *that* stance and I too have been told that I have a *problem* with being on line too much. It not as if I neglect him or anything, honest!

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    1. I think all husbands morph into one when they reach a certain age. Bet they were attending How to grow up to be a Grumpy Hubby class at school when we thought they were at woodwork lessons.
      Glad I am not the only one with the online *problem*...maybe they'd like to meet up and grumble together while we get on with our writing?

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  10. Hi Carol, it's good to see you back :) Your stories are always so funny to read. A lot of work to find those keys ehe..Have a great evening my friend.

    Hugs,

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    1. Thank you Eva - a lot of smelly effort but I have had worse. I once lost the house keys on a deserted beach while running after my son. Imagine how long that took to find them, but we did!

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  11. Until today, I've never met a man who did not immediately put his car keys into his pocket when exiting the car. so losing the key is not your fault at all. Hubby's fault entirely. So he should have been the one rummaging through the skip....
    anyway, if a McFlurry isn't enough, then buy him lots of extras. Yes, it's a lot of food, but you might not have to feed him for a week after.

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    1. River - I have a feeling that I could feed Hubby McFlurries all day and he would still be able to eat more. He has a sweet tooth and still manages to stay slim - grrr.
      You are right. It's his fault. He should have put the car key in his pocket - I'll tell him (Erm, maybe not today though!)

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  12. eew! i've only had to dig threw public trash once and that was when i was 14 and threw out my retainer at a roller skating rink. gross and humiliating!
    so did you get to go back to mcdonalds again during that trip or was the once enough this time after the key incident?

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    1. 14 is not a good age to be caught going through trash cans. At least at my age I don't worry about what people think!
      No, I didn't go back to McDonalds that trip. Hubby won that particular battle but I have new dongle for my next trip so if he thinks I'm going to sit back and neglect my online friends....:)

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  13. Oh yes, this could only happen to you Carol. By the way my husband has exactly the same opinion of my internet usage as yours.

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  14. "Facing 50 with Humor" has been included in the Sites To See for this week. I hope this helps to point many new visitors in your direction.

    http://asthecrackerheadcrumbles.blogspot.com/2012/08/sites-to-see_24.html

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    1. Jerry - That is so kind of you. Thank you very much indeed.

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