|By Penelope Jolicoeur|
First, I sneaked my iPad into the bathroom and pretended I was having a bath when I was really on Hootsuite scheduling tweets. There were people I couldn't let down - Nicky Wells, a fellow loveahappyending.com author had a book tour and launch which needed promoting, as did new authors who have joined ThornBerry Publishing. Also Dizzy C was getting married! I couldn't miss that!
Hubby sussed me. He didn't confiscate the iPad though, oh no! Wiley Old Hubby confiscated the modem and that was that - no signal!
The first week of the ban was dreadful. I missed you all and I missed my cyber chats. At least I had a good plan for week two when I was headed to France to launch Surfing in Stilettos. At the airport I sent Hubby through security ahead of me while I pretended to ferret about in my handbag looking for the toiletries in the plastic bag. Hubby took off his belt and went through the metal detector. To his surprise it sounded. The guard sent him back to take off his shoes and try again. It was at that point that I grabbed my iPad, hidden in the depths of my bag, shoved it into a tray, covered it with my bag and strolled though the detector. Hubby had pinged it again and was being frisked by a guard. He looked vexed. The guard sent him through again and he pinged it again. That meant I had time to collect all the belongings and shove the iPad back into the bottom of my handbag.
Hubby joined me with a perplexed look on his face.
"There was a twenty pence piece hidden right in the corner of my trouser pocket. I don't know how I got it in there. I must have picked it up and forgotten I had it. It made the machine bleep and I had to be searched."
I tusked for him in sympathy and scooted off to buy him a coffee to take his mind off it. Ha! It had worked. the coin I had carefully pushed deep into his pocket had managed to keep him distracted from my ploy. I patted the iPad in glee.
At the cottage in France I waited patiently until Hubby was firmly ensconced in a book and didn't notice me disappear into the house. I managed to get on-line and leave a few messages. Clever me - I was not going to be thwarted.
The next morning while Hubby was in the shower I sneaked on-line again. Just I logged onto Facebook the signal disappeared. Cursing I hid the iPad again. I'd try later.
Showered and ready for action we were just about to go out when the cottage owner appeared.
"Just to let you know that we've lost the telephone lines and internet. An enormous lorry containing logs has come down the road, caught the cable and pinged it across the field. A neighbour has contacted French Telecom but they can't come out until the end of next week. We are sorry. We hope you didn't need the internet."
Hubby brushed away the apologies. "No, no problem. We don't need the internet this week. We are incommunicado for a few days, aren't we?" He shot a look at me. I nodded woefully. It wasn't meant to be.
So, after two weeks of no typing or reading or chatting to my cyber friends I am fitter (thanks to Hubby making me walk every day) and my eyes are a lot better. My launch for Surfing in Stilettos was a huge success with all the books selling and I got some good news too on my return yesterday. A well-known magazine is going to feature one of my stories. The magazine rather appropriately is called 'Take A Break'. Maybe I should take one more often!