Friday, 26 October 2012

"You put a spell on me..."

Cackle, cackle...it's the Spellbindingly Fun Blog Party today to celebrate the launch of How Do You Voodoo? by Janice Horton and I am one of the many participants. I can't wait to see your spells or charms. (I have had a sneaky peek at fishducky's and it is hilarious). 
To see who else is mixing potions check the party list at Janice's Blog HERE
I hope you enjoy my contribution in which I pay homage to Janice Horton's Scottish roots. Apologies though to the great Bard, Shakespeare, for messing about with his 'Scottish play'. (It's unlucky to mention it by name if you are performing it. Bad things might happen!) 
Without further ado, Ladies and Gentlemen, pray silence in the auditorium, the play is about to begin...


The Witches’ Spell

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Act IV, Scene 1 from Macbeth  MacHubby (1606) (2012) by William Shakespeare Facing 50


A dark Cave Kitchen. In the middle, a Caldron bucket (not) boiling. Thunder. A banging on a tin of Quality Street to represent thunder.
Enter the three Witches. (Actually, two witches. Well, Facing 50 and her mother dressed as witches, followed by a black and white cat.

Facing 50 “When shall we two meet again? In thunder, lightning or in rain?”

Mother “Judging by the rotten weather in this country, it’ll be rain. I’d rather be in Cyprus than here, you know. Besides, you are quoting from the first scene of the “Scottish Play” not the spell scene and why are you carrying that mop?”

Facing 50 “I couldn’t find a broom. This was the nearest I could get. I see you came prepared.” (Facing 50 gestures to mother’s broomstick.)
(Mother chuckles then breaks off for a good old hacking cough) “Yes, I’ve had Old Faithful for quite some time now.”

Facing 50 “Come on, we’re supposed to making a charm or spell for Janice’s Spellbindingly Party. You agreed to this, so let’s get on with it. By the way, you look ridiculous with that cigarette hanging out of your mouth. I’ve never seen a witch with a Benson and Hedges hanging out of the side of her mouth before.”

Mother (slurps wine from large glass.) “You've just not lived enough. Besides, it’s your fault. You and this smoke-free zone in the house. As soon as we’ve dropped this spell on your Hubby, I’m off out for a smoke. There aren't many pleasures left for an old dear like me, and smoking is one of them.”

Cats meows.

Mother “Where did this cat come from?”

Facing 50 “He belongs to next door. I’ve been coaxing him here all week by feeding him tuna. It’s a shame he’s not all black, but he’ll do. We needed a witches’ cat.”
Cat meows again.
(Facing 50 strokes cat). “Have you collected the ingredients I requested from Janice’s blog?”

Mother “Yes, erm and a couple of others you didn’t request.”

Facing 50 “This is a spell to make Hubby charming and happy so don’t you ruin it. Right, hats back on. Tiddles, you’ll have to wait for your tuna until we’ve cast this spell. This is the cauldron.”

Mother “It’s a bucket. It’s a bucket that your Hubby uses to wash the car.”

Facing 50 “Yes, I know, but I wasn’t going to ruin a good pan, was I? Ready?”

(Facing 50 flickers the lights on and off for atmosphere. Her mother waves her broomstick around, along with her wine glass.)


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The Witches’ spell to turn Hubby from Grumpy to Charming.

BOTH “Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.”

2 WITCH – Mother
“Magik crystal, salt I think,
In the cauldron boil and stink;

Candles pink, and single rose,
Resembling colour of Hubby's nose,
Toadstool collected by your mother dear,
And toad sweat mixed up in Hubby’s beer,-
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.”

BOTH “Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.”

1 WITCH – Facing 50 “Hang on. Stop! I didn’t order toadstools and toad sweat. That won’t make Hubby charming.”

(Mother shrugs.) “Can’t see what harm it will do. Let’s face it, the spell needed pepping up a bit, all this pink candle nonsense and magik crystals. Hurry up. I need a smoke. Get on with it and stop fussing. It'll take more than a single rose to get your Old Grouch to cheer up and become Prince Charming.”

Cat meows. 

FACING 50 “In a minute Tiddles. Okay, but I don’t trust you. No more toadstools and poisonous ingredients. We’re not trying to murder him.”

(Mother grins.)

BOTH “Thistledown collected fresh this morn’
Surrounds a moonstone never worn,
Northern Lights that brightly blaze,
To ensure bad moods are erase’d,
Pixie dust, cheerful and gay
To chase all grumpiness away,-
Tip them all into our pot
Add Dragon’s tears to make it hot.
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.”

Facing 50 “Quick, I can see him. He’s finished gardening and is coming to the back door.
(Both wave their hats, cross their fingers and perform a weird witch dance.)

Facing 50 “I hope he’s in a good mood and feeling charming.”

The back door opens. No one steps in. The two witches make their way to the door and look out. On the doorstep sits a small cute green frog.

Facing 50 “Mum! How much Toadstool did you put in this spell?”

Cat meows.

Mother cackles.

Frog croaks.


With sincere apologies to William Shakespeare. 

To read all the wonderful posts and spells that others have cast. Check Janice's blog by clicking HERE

27 comments:

  1. Oh NO! Poor Mr Facing 50!

    I was entralled and making notes - thinking this was a spell I could use to my full advantage - having a Grumpy One myself, but....

    Do let me know if he turns back again won't you - although it might involve kissing him a lot - or is that with frogs not toads????

    Amazing how it worked though, eh?

    Maybe a lesson to all to be careful what we wish for!?

    Fantastic spell, Carol. Top notch in the poetry department. Big on magic. I loved it!

    Janice xx

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  2. Glad it appealed. Sorry I have yet to muster up the courage to kiss the frog. Al least he can't complain at the moment...just croaks!
    Good luck with your amazing party. xxx

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  3. Stranger things have happened than spells coming true, so who knows what will happen today? What if all our spells get mixed up? If Mr Facing 50 has mine (a pamper day)then I will stamp my feet - eek hope I get a nice one instead.... great fun, thanks Carol and of course, the lovely Janice!

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    1. I hadn't thought about that! Aaargh a pamper day! I want that now too. Wanna swap for a frog?
      Thanks for commenting and dropping by. Will be bouncing over asap later today once I've taken the frog out to the shops.

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  4. Laugh, laugh. Oh what fun! Particularly the lightening bits! Hope you turn him back again.x

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    1. Why would I want to do that Carol? Hee hee!

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  5. You crack me up! What a wicked idea and brilliantly executed. Totally awesome!!! x

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    1. Aw shucks! Thanks Nicky - my mother is really to thank for the wicked side of things xx

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  7. Oh Carol (sounds like a song!) this is brilliant, I am simply wetting myself laughing - PS do you have a spell to stop that happening?

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    1. I wish I had one. You could try one out and call the Tena/Pelvic Floor spell.

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  8. OMG! Make sure the cat doesnt eat the frog!! Haw, haw, love it, Carol Reckon old Williams would be proud of you! :) xx

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    1. Gadzooks Sheryl I bet Old Wills would turneth in his grave. Mind you he'd love the acting! x

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  9. I love this Carol, really funny!
    Lindsay x

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  10. Gosh,that was a great contribution!

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    1. Glad you enjoyed it Myra and thank you for your comment.x

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  11. Isn't it lovely when a spell works out even better than you'd hoped for?

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  12. I don't who's funnier as a witch, you or your mom, but as usual the frog steals the show.:)

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  13. Hmmmm .... maybe not Benson and Hedges, but I've seen plenty of "cigars" dangling around many a witchs' mouths ... you are hilarious!

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    1. Don't encourage her - she'll try out cigars next if she reads this!

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  14. This is really good! I'll have to be sure and check the other spells.

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    1. Cast one of your own River - I bet you have some great ingredients!

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